Rebirth and Redemption
by TwilightElegy
Summary: [renoxrufus] yaoi pairing bw reno and rufus. Post AC, reno and rufus are both depressed. also involvves Dirge of C. stuff. DISCONTINUED AT PRESENT: Apologies to all!
1. Surprise Invitation

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Hi everyone! This is my first ever fanfic, and as my summary states it's a Reno and Rufus yaoi pairing. If you have a problem with man on man relationships, I suggest you don't continue reading! 

This fic is rated M for a reason, it deals with some adult themes, has course language and sexual references.

:) I hope you enjoy, please review! And be gentle!!!

TwilightElegy

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**Chapter I: Surprise Invitation**

I remember the first time the concept of the yin and yang was explained to me. At the time, I was kinda young, so I didn't place much store in it; all I could think about was how strange the old geezer telling me about it looked. Of course, now I place a whole lotta store in it, but that's only because I'm older and, I guess, a little wiser.

He was an old Wutaian drunk, who had moved into the Slums during the War, so he wasn't none to popular. He lived a few doors away from where I lived with a couple of other guys who were in my gang. He accosted me late one night while I was on my way to the local strip joint, and I wasn't particularly interested in hearing his philosophical bullshit.

"Young Reno, among my people we say that the world is made up of two opposing elements, which join together to create a whole. They are known as the yin and yang, and are present in everything, even each other. They allow the world to function and they keep life balanced. Do you understand?

"Fuck no." I was eager to get to the strip joint, naturally.

He sighed, "Everything contains equal and opposite forces, everything exists in an effortless duality. Light creates shadow, love begets hate and there is good in evil. Everything is tied to the great yin and the great yang, bound to the Wheel of Fate and the Lifestream."

"Yeah… whatever old man…" He was pretty eloquent for a drunk.

He held his hands up before my face and waved them around like he was real mystic, "One day you will understand. My people have a saying; "The King of Youth is subdued by the King of Ox in every lifetime." This means that all will be made clear through age and experience. Only when one has eaten of the heavenly fruit, can one describe its flavour."

It was at this point that I split, leaving the old man standing on the stoop outside his rundown house made of junk, ranting to no one in particular.

Coincidently, that night was also the night I was picked up by Tseng and first taken to Shinra Tower.

That was the night I became a Turk.

So, from that day on I worked for the Shinra Company, doing all the nasty, dirty work the execs would touch with a barge pole. Naturally, as the years went by I became more experienced, just as the old drunk had said, but I still could never get my head around his yin and yang shit. I would often think about it, which I s'pose sounds strange 'cause I'm not really perceived as being the "reflective" type.

Then one day it all became clear. That was the first day I spent with _him_, the first day I released my own inner yin to calm _his_ raging yang. We allowed ourselves to join and become one, we allowed ourselves to love. Its funny when I think back on it, 'cause I knew the guy ever since I began work as a Turk, but I never expected that he'd become what he is to me today.

This is our story, the story of how Rufus helped me subdue the King of Youth and how I taught him how to live again.

* * *

It was late, and Reno knew that Tseng'd be pissed if he woke him up, so Reno decided that he'd take a leaf out of Elena's books, and do what she did whenever she'd had a big night out; so he climbed into Healin Lodge through the back window, making certain he landed in the bathroom without a sound, which is a difficult task when you've drunk enough Scotch to knock out most men. 

He and Rude had been out drinking at Seventh Heaven again, and as usual Reno had left Rude alone drooling over Tifa. It was an average night for Reno.

He had to admit, however, that it wasn't the most enjoyable way to spend an evening, even though Reno had enjoyed it once. Reno had been down in the dumps lately, due to all the bad press the Company was receiving over the DeepGround crisis, which occurred two months ago. The hatred that he was facing in the street was forcing him to rely more and more on drink and women for strength, leaving him feeling hollow inside.

The redheaded Turk slowly tiptoed through the hallways of Healin Lodge, deftly weaving his lithe body between pot plants and sculptures, trying not to make any noises which might have awoken his sleeping comrades, and the President.

Reno, feeling the need for a cigarette, stopped for a moment and, as he fumbled with the lighter heard the strangest sound he had ever heard. He could swear that he could hear someone singing one of those children's nursery rhymes.

Taking a drag from his cig, Reno tried hard to make out the words, but it was impossible, since the singer was sobbing uncontrollably.

Putting his cigarette out, Reno stepped into the main room of the Lodge and found the source of the singing. It was coming from an incredibly drunk, teary-eyed Rufus Shinra, who was sitting at the table next to an empty bottle of vodka.

"WhachoowanReno?" he slurred.

"Uh… nuffin…" Reno slurred back, "jus goin'… ta bed…"

Rufus looked at him, wiping his eyes, "Icansenseyorsad'ess" he said.

And then, without any warning, Rufus passed out cold, just as Elena tiptoed out of the kitchen holding a sandwich.

"Reno! Sir! What's going on?"

Reno gave a drunken chuckle, "Looks like… the Pres can't hold… his booze…" and he also collapsed, and was soon snoring contentedly.

Reno woke up the next morning, with the inevitable throbbing head and taste of vomit in his mouth, without a single memory of the night before. He had a quick shower, singing badly, then threw on some clothes he found on the floor and went downstairs holding his head.

Elena and Tseng were already at the table, eating breakfast.

"Have a good night Reno?" Tseng asked sarcastically, "all three of you are bound to have massive hangovers."

"Uh, three?"

"Yes. You, Rude and the President."

"What the fuck are you on about?"

Elena and Tseng shot each other a questioning look, "Didn't you three go out last night? I saw you at about three in the morning! Rufus was sitting at the table, passed out, and you were standing in the doorway… before you passed out as well." Elena said, confusion written all over her face.

"I went to Seventh Heaven with Rude last night, but I dunno what the Pres got up to. Maybe he went to some concert?"

Tseng just shrugged, then handed Reno a copy of the morning newspaper, "Look at today's headline: 'More Shinra Atrocities Uncovered!' then it goes on to list some of Hojo's more ambitious experiments. No doubt the President'll want us to deal with all of this."

Reno slammed his fist down on the table, causing Elena to screech as she grabbed her coffee mug, which was about to fall onto the floor, "Why can't they jus' leave us alone!? I'm fuckin' sick of this shit!"

"To be fair, our company did commit a few, um… sins…" Elena stated, looking around to make sure there was no President in sight.

"All for the benefit of the people, and as far as I'm concerned, my company's "atrocities", as they have _so _elegantly been dubbed, were of a highly beneficial nature. The problem is, people need someone to hate, otherwise they get confused."

The three Turks quickly got to their feet as Rufus walked into the room, unconsciously mimicking Reno by holding his hand to his temples.

"Oh and Elena, next time you want to criticize my company…"

"It won't happen again Sir!"

"See that it doesn't. Now, would you all keep quiet?"

"Yessir."

Rufus nodded his head, flicked his long golden hair out of his eyes, then went into the kitchen. He emerged half a minute later holding a full bottle of vodka in one hand, and a glass in the other.

Tseng coughed, "Sir…?"

"Make it quick Tseng."

Tseng looked at Elena, then Rufus, "Sir, are you sure that's wise?"

"I don't give a damn whether its wise or not, Tseng, right now I need to get drunk."

"But Sir-!"

"No buts, Tseng. And Reno, wipe that smirk off your face!"

Reno tried hard not to smile, "Yessir! Can do, sir!"

Rufus gave them all one more glare, "Now, if you all don't mind…?"

And with that, the President of Shinra Inc. returned to his room, passing a very groggy and hung over Rude in the doorway.

"Uh, what's goin' on guys?"

Reno shrugged, "The Pres is tryin' to drink himself to death."

"Not funny Reno!"

"Awww, shut up Elena…"

Tseng cleared his throat, "Reno, Rude I need to talk to you."

Elena nodded her head, went into the kitchen and came back out again half a minute later with two mugs of coffee and slices of toast on a tray, which she placed in front of the redheaded and bald Turks' usual places at the table, beckoning them both to sit.

"Whatcha wanna say Boss?"

"Reno, I'm worried about the President. He's usually so calm and collected-"

"-I think you mean frigid and unfeeling-" Rude interjected, but Tseng gave him a cold look and continued.

"He's been drinking a lot lately, and…" Tseng sighed, "its just not right. He's supposed to be strong, you know? Protect the Company's image and all that…"

_The Pres sounds like he's human after all_, Reno thought.

Rude took a sip of his coffee, "What's this got to do with Reno and I?"

Elena rolled her eyes and muttered "_Men_" under her breath. Tseng gave her a warning look then continued, "You two are always going off to drown your troubles in bars, so next time you go I want you to take Rufus with you, that's all."

"That's all!?" Reno cried incredulously, "You want me to take Mr. Frigid out drinkin'? The man's a fuckin' psychopath, and you know it! I don't care whether he's sad, or depressed! I mean, come on! He's not the kind a guy you wanna take out to a bar, he's… scary…"

"I had no idea you disliked me so much Reno." Rufus said from the door.

Reno jumped out of his seat, "Uhh, it's just that… well…"

"Can it Reno!" Rufus then turned to Tseng, "and since when did you think it fit for you to interfere with my private life?"

Tseng also got to his feet, composing himself so as to appear more polite to his employer, "It is my job to protect you Sir, and that's what I intend to do."

"Tseng, I can take care of myself," Rufus then smirked, "and besides, I don't see you taking Reno to task over _his_ excessive drinking."

"That's because it's Reno." Elena piped in cheekily.

"What the fuck's that s'posed to mean?"

"You're always drinking… we're used to it."

Reno looked at Rude, "Shouldn't you be jumping to my defense?"

"Why? She's right."

Reno sat back down, crossing his arms and staring darkly at everyone, "I have feelings y'know. Rufus isn't the only one who's allowed to be depressed."

Rufus raised his eyebrows at Reno, studying him as if he was a particularly interesting piece of art. There was a quality in Rufus' eyes that Reno couldn't quite understand, and it frightened him. It was almost like the golden haired man could see straight through Reno's own eyes and into his soul.

Rufus then turned to Tseng and whispered something in his ear. Tseng's eyes widened and he began to study both Reno _and_ Rufus.

"You're sure, sir?"

"When have I not been sure?" Rufus laughed and then returned to his room, humming a tune that Reno found vaguely familiar.

Elena also began to stare at Reno, and then she said with concern, "You know I was only joking. I do worry about you Reno."

"Geez, thanks Mom…"

Rude drank the last of his coffee, and finished his last slice of toast. After brushing the crumbs from his fingers and goatee, he picked up the paper and began to read, but threw it to the ground in disgust after just five minutes.

"You know, I'm sick of the way the media keeps slandering the Company."

Tseng nodded, "We'll deal with it later. But right now I have a new mission for you and Reno. Rufus just gave it to me before he left."

Reno looked up "Its about time! I was kinda gettin' bored just sittin' around doin' squat. What're we s'posed to do?"

Tseng gave Reno a very strange smile; "You and Rude need to go with the President to Junon, where he is meeting with the World Regenesis Organization."

"Boring! Send Elena."

Elena stuck her tongue out at him.

"Then what?" Rude asked.

"Well, Rufus has given you the rest of the day, and the evening, off. However," and Tseng's smile broadened, "Rufus has a special assignment for Reno…"

"Yeah?" Reno got up, excited that he was going to get a secret mission.

"The President has asked whether you will accompany him to the Opera."

"What the FUCK!?"

Elena collapsed in fits of laughter. "Omigod!" Elena cried, "Guess what Reno? The President asked you out on a DATE!"

"Fuck off! That's not funny…"

Rude shook his head, "Don't be stupid Elena, Rufus wants Reno to act as his bodyguard for the evening."

Reno laughed nervously, "Yeah, that's it…"

Tseng began to laugh as well, "Actually, the President wants Reno there socially. He even suggested you go and buy a nice suit!"

Elena ran into her room and came back out holding a long black cocktail dress.

"You'll look quite fetching in this Reno, it matches your eyes!"

_What's wrong with the man? He doesn't actually _like_ me, does he? _Reno thought back to the look Rufus had given him earlier, and decided right then and there he was going to get out of this particular mission.

Rude looked from Tseng to Elena and then finally to Reno, "This is just a sick joke right? Come on, he isn't serious!"

Elena brushed the tears from her eyes, "Reno, most girls would do anything for a rich man!"

Reno stormed out of the room, cursing Rufus Shinra under his breath.


	2. Thoughts

**I hope you've all enjoyed the first chapter, thanks to all who have reviewed! If you're reading this now, and like it, pleeeez review and tell all the ff7 yaoi fans to read as well.**

**Cheers! TwilightElegy**

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**Chapter II: Thoughts**

I'd been working for the Shinra Electric Power Company for about half a year when I first met Rufus Shinra, the then Vice President. Sure, I'd heard a lot about him, thanks to workplace gossip, but I'd never actually met the man in the flesh. And to be honest, the man I actually _did_ meet was totally different to the man that all the secretaries described as, "Scary as hell!"

Office hearsay reported that Rufus was a callous, unfeeling man who would do anything to get what he wanted, regardless of who he had to use to get it. They said he was as manipulative as they come, using fear thoughtlessly as a method of controlling people, just because it required less effort. The scariest thing, according to the barmaid on the 61st floor, was that he wasn't afraid to make people "vanish" if they interfered with him. Most of his employees viewed him as an inhuman monster; a winter storm personified, and avoided him like the plague.

Guess that's why he always looked so lonely, huh?

So, naturally on the day I was summoned to the office of the White Devil (his rather colourful nick-name) I was absolutely shitscared. I kept on remembering the story of how people "vanished" because they had bothered him, and I kept on running through my memory, trying to find the moment I'd screwed up.

The feeling I had in my gut while I waited in the room in front of his office is one I'll never forget. It felt as if my stomach had turned inside out and was trying to digest the rest of my guts. To settle it, I puffed on cigarette after cigarette, until Rufus rather prim secretary told me put out "those awful cancer sticks".

Then finally, I heard his voice.

"Send the Turk in, if you will."

It was an odd sounding voice for a sadistic, inhuman frost demon. I had expected his voice to be loud and booming, much like his father's. But no, it was the complete opposite, Rufus spoke with a firm, tenor voice that had a musical quality to it, which made the man sound as if he was always singing. It was a voice that was filled with self-confidence, yet also a strange kind of bitterness.

"Ah, so you are the new Turk. Please be seated Mr…?"

"Um, Reno… just Reno…"

"Okay, just Reno."

I took a seat, "Thank you, Mr. Shinra sir."

"I prefer Rufus."

So I sat down, staring across at the man who inspired so much fear among the people of Shinra Tower; no, the whole of Midgar. He was young, at least a year or two older than me, with fashionably cut blond hair and eyes the colour of ice. He was dressed totally in white, which gave him a strangely peaceful appearance.

"Would you like a drink Reno? I've got vodka, scotch, sake..."

"Scotch please, uhh… Rufus."

Rufus poured two glasses of scotch, "Ice?"

"Yeah"

Rufus sat down behind his desk, sipping absently at his glass. I was too nervous to even consider drinking mine. He was staring across at me with those ice eyes of his, making me feel very unnerved. However, I returned his look- probably because I was afraid to look away.

"I think you'll be a fine Turk, Reno," he said after a few minutes had passed, "not many people have enough balls to look me straight in the eyes like that. And Turks definitely need balls."

The rest of the interview involved Rufus explaining Company policy and procedure to me, and was uneventful (even though I was still kinda scared).

"Reno, I hope we can be friends."

"Yessir, I do too sir." And then I left.

Funny how I was the only person who saw him for what he really was, a lonely guy behind the mask of a monster. At least, that's what I thought at the time.

As that Wutaian drunk had said, through experience we become wiser…

* * *

"I'm not lookin' forward to this, Rude, it's all just too bizarre."

Reno, smoking a cigarette while sitting on the edge of Healin Lodge's rooftop helipad, was waiting with his bald co-worker for Rufus to arrive, so he could fly the President to Junon.

Rude nodded his head, "He's one strange man, that's for sure. I mean, doesn't he understand that asking you to the Opera is kinda… fruity?"

"I dunno. Maybe he's tryin' to make friends. He always wanted to be my friend, you know. He said so first time we met."

Rude snorted, "You gullible bastard, he says that to all the new employees."

"But he does seem lonely," Reno mused, "and I _am_ a pretty fun guy to hang around with, as you know."

"Whatever."

"I mean, maybe he's jus' not used to dealin' with people socially, he does keep to himself most of the time." Reno took another drag from his cigarette, "and besides, he's been pretty depressed lately. Maybe he jus' wants someone to talk to?"

"But why you?"

"Fucked if I know…"

It was at this moment that Rufus strode out of Healin Lodge's rooftop entrance and made towards the helicopter. He had obviously cleaned himself up since breakfast; for there was no evidence that he had been drinking the night before. He smiled cheerfully to the two Turks, both of whom gave him a quick salute.

"Right, let's get going."

Rude and Rufus got into the back of the helicopter, leaving Reno standing alone on the helipad. The redhead quickly finished his cigarette, then began to inspect his prized possession, his Shinra Mark II Attack Helicopter. After ten minutes of doing routine checks, he was satisfied that the 'copter was in top flying condition.

"Reno, hurry it up will you!" Rude called out before slamming his door closed.

Reno shot him a dark look, then he jumped into the cockpit, put on his headset, tested his microphone, and checked the controls and steering.

"Alright boys and girls, Shinra flight No. 123 headed for Junon is about to depart!"

"Reno, grow up."

"Sorry sir!"

"Its Rufus…"

"Uhhh… right…"

Rude gave the President an odd look.

"Okay, all set! Prepare for take off!"

The propellers began to spin, and soon the helicopter was airborne.

"Reno," Rufus' voice buzzed in the Turk's headset, "I don't suppose you'd mind flying past the ruins of Shinra Tower, would you?"

"Roger that sir!"

"I said: Call. Me. Rufus!"

Rude once again gave the blond a sideways look, however this time his face was clouded over with a thoughtful expression. Rufus was totally unaware of the bald man's scrutiny, for he was too busy staring at the back of Reno's head.

Reno swung the helicopter around Healin Lodge and towards the skeleton of Midgar.

Soon the Tower was in clear view, and Reno manoeuvred the helicopter closer to its rotting carcass until they were so close they could see the pieces of debris falling off it into the maze of rubble that was Midgar.

Shinra Tower, once the symbol of Rufus' godlike power over the world, was slowly crumbling, falling to the earth.

"That's enough Reno. Take us to Junon."

"Yessir… uhh, Rufus."

* * *

Two and a half hours after the two Turks had dropped Rufus off at WRO Headquarters, Reno was sitting at the bar of his favourite Junon pub, chatting up the new cocktail waitress, a Diane. However, none of his usual lines were having any effect on her and this left him feeling particularly low. She soon left to deal with another one of her clients, giving Reno a nasty sneer.

"Y'know, I think I'm losin' my touch."

Rude looked up from staring into his beer and shrugged noncommittally, "Maybe you need to go after a different kind of chick? You've got to be getting bored with the dumb blonde, slutty, one night stand type of girl. Go after someone with a little class and substance, or someone who has a brain inside their head."

"Okay… I'll do that when you ask Tifa out."

"Shut up Reno."

Reno laughed, "Nah, she ain't my type anyway. She's a little too snobbish for my tastes, and besides, I think she's not a natural blonde."

Rude shrugged once again, "I think Elena's right about you."

"Oh and what has Little Miss Perfect been sayin' about me behind my back? Nuthin' flatterin', I'm sure."

"She's worried about you; she thinks you're taking all the slander the Company's been getting to much to heart. It's not your problem, Reno, it's the President's, and he'll deal with it."

"How, by drinking glass after glass of vodka every night until he's so fucked up he doesn't know who is, or where he came from?"

Rude sighed, "Geez, loosen up man!"

Reno snorted, "If the Pres is gonna do somethin', he better hurry up and do it! He needs to get up off his arse and start to work again! I always thought he was a man of action! You know, 'let's get things done!' and all that shit."

Rude remained silent and Reno took another sip of his beer, musing over what Elena had said. _How come she knows so much about what I'm feelin'?_

Rude opened his mouth, but Reno cut him off, "I know what you're about to say, man, and you should stop right there! I'm not going, repeat _not going_, to his stupid fuckin' Opera tonight!"

"I think what you said before was right, by the way…" Rude said a few moments later.

"Yeah, and what was that?"

"About Rufus wanting to talk to you, and about him being lonely and wanting a friend. It makes sense when you think about it."

"You've sure been thinkin' a lot. Did it hurt?"

"Reno, don't be a dickhead."

"Why would the Pres wanna make friends with me?" Reno said, his voice suddenly becoming subdued, 'I'm just slum trash to big shots like him…"

"You're closest to him in age. Tseng and I are older, and Elena is way too young."

"So?"

"He probably feels comfortable around you. Probably thinks that he can relate to you, man to man."

"But we're totally different people! I mean, he's so cold and calculating, whereas I'm reckless and don't give a shit about society- I just wanna have fun! I bet you a million gil he would be a total loser when it comes to having a good time."

"What makes you think Rufus cares about society?"

"It's his job, doofus."

Rude shook his head, "So?"

Reno drank the last of his beer in one large gulp then got up to leave. Rude followed suit, leaving behind some gil for both the waitress and the bartender. By this time Reno had already walked out into the dirty main road of Junon, puffing almost fanatically on a cigarette.

"You're always lying to yourself Reno. You never want to admit the truth."

Reno turned around, "Rude, since when did you start talking so much? It's making me wanna punch you out."

"I told you I'd been thinkin'…"

"Well don't. It doesn't suit you."

Rude remained silent.

Reno sighed, "Rude, man, do you have any idea about how weird all this is? I mean, God, the guy practically asked me out!"

Rude scrunched up his nose in disgust, "You and Elena both jumped to that conclusion. Why?"

Reno scuffed his shoes uncomfortably, took a deep breath, then gave Rude a look of confusion, "Ever since I first met him, Rufus seemed kinda different than most people. At first I thought it was because he was just a cruel person, but as the years went by I noticed something about the man that I can't really explain. Its like he's a nice guy, trapped inside a demon's body. He's lonely, and sad. He's usually pretty strong, but I think all the stuff in the press has made him snap."

"Sounds like you think about him often, Reno…"

"Rude it's not like that!" Reno looked away, over the water, "its just that… I think that Rufus' bravado is just a cover, y'know? He's hidin' somethin'." Reno gave a rueful laugh, "it wouldn't surprise me if he just wants someone to love."

"Reno, I think you're wrong."

Reno raised his eyebrows, "You really _have_ been thinkin'."

"Something about this whole "weak and sensitive" Rufus is making me feel uneasy. You know how much he likes to manipulate people. He's clever, and I think he may be trying to turn you into his next puppet."

"But you can't deny he's depressed."

"Yeah, he's depressed I give you that. But, you just watch your step, I think that its his depression that's leading him to do this to you."

"Do what to me?"

"I don't know yet…"

The redhead pulled out another cigarette to replace the one he had just finished, "Ahh well, it doesn't mater anyway, there's no way in hell I'm goin' to the Pres' shitty Opera."

* * *

Rufus Shinra stood at his apartment window, staring absently out at the way the last rays of the setting sun played across the now blood red sea. He was in the middle of reflecting back on his past, a habit that the once all-powerful man had taken to of late. As he delved into his mind, Rufus began to become even more afraid of the person that he had become over the years.

He knew that he was cold, he knew that he was cruel and he knew that his life up until this very moment had just been a chain of broken events, filled with inexplicable evil. Yes, evil was the only word that Rufus Shinra could find to describe himself, however, it didn't feel wrong to him. The blond man knew himself, knew his vileness, and revelled in it, even though it made him feel sick inside.

His bitterness was his armour, he had used his cold nature to create an impenetrable barrier around himself when he had been younger. As he had grown older, Rufus hardened his icy armour until nothing could penetrate it, he forbid himself to give in to his emotions, until he had no emotions left.

Over the years, however, something that Rufus didn't expect to happen actually _happened_. His armour turned on him, and like a parasite, began to consume the man who dwelled within it until it totally destroyed him. He became a creature who ruled by fear and whose touch was death. This was the source of his evil.

It became worse after Meteorfall, as he recuperated from his near death experience and his Geo-stigma. His armour took on a mind of its own, and began to control him, until he finally took a step towards governing it.

Rufus Shinra took a step toward Redemption.

It was this step that had brought him into his current desolate state, for now that he had experienced good, he sincerely felt the taint of his evil. He could feel himself being tugged at by the latent evil inside it, and he was fighting it the only way he knew how.

Rufus took a sip from his glass of vodka and looked at the ornate clock suspended over his equally elaborate mantelpiece. It was almost half past six.

What was keeping Reno?

It was time Rufus took control again, it was time for him to discard his armour and bare his person to the world. It was time for him to allow himself to feel.

And he would do it the only way he knew how.

He would destroy another soul, forcing them to go through what he had gone through.

Maybe he'll even make a friend…

Where _was_ Reno…?

* * *

Reno came into his hotel room close to six o'clock and had a quick shower. He then lay down on his bed and turned on the television, for want of anything better to do. As he expected there was nothing on any of the stations besides news, and that was one thing the redheaded Turk didn't want to watch.

He was forced to admit to himself that he was bored.

Suddenly a commercial came on for the opera he was supposed to be seeing with his rather enigmatic Boss.

"Filled with magic, romance, action and horror, "The King of Youth" is the Opera for people of all walks of life"

Reno turned the TV off in disgust.

And then suddenly, his PHS rang.

"Hey Reno, its Elena."

"Hey babe, what's happenin'?"

"Nothing much, I just wanted to know what you were up to?"

"Watchin' TV."

"But its nearly 7:30, you know that's when-"

"Don't even go there Elena."

Reno heard his female co-worker sigh on the other end of the line, "I found something strange under your pillow."

"Uh, what were you doin' in my room?"

"None of your business."

"So what was the somethin' ya found in my room?"

"It was a note, it says "The King of Youth is subdued by the King of Ox in every lifetime." And it's in Rufus' handwriting."

"Fuck, what was _he_ doin' in my room!?"

"I think you should go to him…"

Reno let out a sarcastic laugh, "You kiddin'?"

"Look, Reno… I'm worried."

"Of course you are, _Mom_."

"Just, think about it…"

"Fine. Bye."

He hung up before she had time to answer.

_Why can't they leave me alone?_ Reno thought to himself as he got up and went to flick through the magazines that had been left in his room by the handy hotel staff. Naturally, they were all about Travelling and Fishing, and to Reno, were as boring as hell.

Reno decided he'd go out and get drunk, so he went to look through his duffel bag for something to wear.

"What the fuck?"

Reno found a really pricey, tailor made black suit along with a matching white shirt and tie lying on top. There was a note pinned to the collar,

"Reno,

If you really think I'm a good person, I'd like for you to come tonight.

Rufus"

Reno looked at the suit, panic stricken, then looked at his watch. It was 6:15. He knew there wasn't anything interesting on TV and Rude was going to be busy tonight…

"Aww, fuck it! I'll go to his stupid Opera…"

* * *

NOTE: My Rufus appears slightly outta character... kinda. Just remember that the guy is **very** manipulative!


	3. At the Opera

**This chapter is supposed to be slightly fun, especially with Reno and Rufus' bantering. Note: I'm NOT aiming for comedy. Please, read and enjoy. And make sure you read the end, cause it hints towards things to come**

**Ciao! TwilightElegy**

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* * *

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Chapter III: At the Opera

You know, I haven't really had all that much experience with feelings of loneliness and despair. Even when I was a kid living in the Slums, surrounded by filth and human misery, there were plenty of people for me to hang out with. Those people eventually turned into my gang buddies after we reached our teenage years, and after most of our parents had 'joined the Lifestream'.

Then, when I moved out of the gutter and into the heaven on earth which was Shinra Tower, I found a new set of friends, hell I'd go as far as to say I found a new family. I integrated into the tight-knit circle of Turks almost instantly, until I was viewed by most as the "younger brother they never had". It's a really great feeling knowing that you're loved and appreciated. Yeah, I'd describe what we had as love- as a family, never anything more.

Anyways, there were two guys in particular with whom I got on _really_ well. You guessed it, they were Tseng and Rude. During the first few years, those two were really great to hang around with; they were always looking out for me and baling me out when I got into deep shit.

During those days Tseng was the second in command of our "small family circle", and was a whole lot less uptight than he is today. Sure, he took his job seriously, but he would also go out with us guys and have fun. You know, do _guy_ things as opposed to sitting behind a desk all day signing papers that no one gives a fuck about.

Rude, on the other hand, was pretty much the same then as he is now. He kept to himself, and didn't really mix well with the others; they all thought he was a thug. But I made that leap of faith known as friendship, and couldn't have found a nicer guy. Rude was quiet 'cause he was contemplative, and even though he _was_ a thug, he was a nice thug. He's the best buddy a guy could have.

Thinking about it, its kinda strange that Rude and I really clicked in the first place, we are almost exact opposites. But then again, opposites attract and all that shit…

Elena didn't come onto the scene until a few years later, seven years later to be precise. I've only ever thought of her as a sister, and to be honest, sometimes as a mother (but I wouldn't tell _her_ that). We may take the piss out of each other all the time, but I reckon that's our way of showing affection. I mean I'm not used to dealing with the ladies except when it comes to certain nocturnal activities…

You know what I'm talkin' about!

I guess I take having friends who love and appreciate me for granted, 'cause sometimes I don't take all that much care of them in return. I know a few people who would give anything to have what I've got, with one special case jumping instantly to mind.

I know I've said it before, but Rufus was- and _is_- one lonely guy. As far as I could tell, he didn't have any friends, and I knew as a fact that he and his father didn't get along, in fact I'm sure his father hated him. Because he was lonely, Rufus began to distrust other people, and that lead him to become a cold and bitter tyrant. It's what drove him to do things in his characteristic destructive manner.

By controlling people, Rufus was able to inject himself into their personal universe and experience, even if it was for just a fleeting moment, what it was like to interact with people.

Its like how a puppeteer takes pleasure out of working with his puppets. They allow him to express himself, allow him to express any emotions that he'd bottled up inside himself, and allow him to act upon a world in which he truly didn't belong. Except, in Rufus' case, the puppets were people, and the stage was reality.

All he needed was to be drawn into the world by one of his puppets. Maybe that would have allowed him to change and, y'know, experience what its like not to be alone anymore.

So, that's what I did. I cut my strings, jumped out of the puppet theatre and became real to him…

…eventually.

* * *

It was seven o'clock and Reno was standing all alone in a slowly rising elevator, dressed in the immaculate black suit which he had found packed into his travel bag, assumingly a present from Rufus. The elevator was taking the redhead toward the ritzy apartment of the man who still managed to inspire a small amount of fear in him, even though he had known him for years. 

Reno tried desperately to push that fear aside, to try and make some room for other feelings, such as hope that Rufus wasn't up to anything sneaky, hope that this was a genuine stab at friendship on the President's part, but it wouldn't go away. It sat in his stomach, weighing him down.

Suddenly, a bell chimed and the elevator halted. The screen above the door displayed in thick red letters, "Presidential Apartment". The door opened agonizingly slowly, revealing to Reno one of the most beautiful rooms he had ever seen. It was carpeted in a soft cream, which matched effortlessly with the black leather and golden wood of the furniture. Placed strategically around the room were potted plants and exotic sculptures. The eastern wall was made totally from glass, giving a fantastic view of the city and its surroundings.

"You're late Reno." Rufus called from behind a partition, in what Reno believed was the kitchen.

"Uh, sorry Boss."

"You know, I didn't expect you to show up at all."

"Well I did."

"Obviously."

Rufus stepped out of the kitchen carrying two glasses of scotch, one of which he gave to Reno. The blond was dressed in a white suit, which screamed wealth and power, and was almost identical to the one the Turk was wearing. There was something different about the President's appearance that Reno couldn't quite place until after a few seconds spent studying his visage. He was smiling, and not a fake smile- a genuine smile.

"Its refreshing to see you dressed nicely, Reno."

"Thanks sir"

Rufus sighed, "For the last time. It's Rufus."

"It just don't seem right."

"Listen, I just want this night to be informal. Tonight I am no longer your boss; I am no longer "the President". I'm just an average guy, taking a friend out to have fun."

Reno smiled when Rufus had called him his friend. For some reason or other it made him feel good to know that the President considered him his equal, at least socially. The ball of fear inside his stomach melted away, and he felt himself become physically looser.

"I hope you know that I'm not an Opera kinda guy. I prefer music which you can fail your arms and thrash your head to."

"Me too. Uh, that is I don't like Opera. I can't stand the stupid fucking things," Rufus let out a rich tenor laugh, "however I was given these tickets by an associate and I feel obliged to go, even though there are other things I'd much rather do."

Reno stood staring at the President with his mouth agape, "But you're s'posed to be a cultured kinda guy. Doncha hafta like Opera and all that classical shit by default?"

"Oh, I do like classical music. But not Opera," Rufus' eyes clouded over, "it was my old man who was into Opera."

Reno started laughing.

"You might not be such a bad guy after all, Rufus."

Rufus drank his scotch in one quick gulp, "I thought I was a "fuckin' psychopath"? Now I'm an okay guy. I do wish you'd make up your mind about me Reno."

"Ah, sorry 'bout that, man…"

Rufus laughed once more, 'You know, I haven't laughed like this in ages. I forgot what it's like to have a good time."

Then how come you still sound depressed? Reno thought to himself as he drank his scotch. Even though Rufus had been laughing and joking, he still had a melancholy twist to his words, which was putting the Turk ill at ease. 

"I just had a thought…"

Reno raised his eyebrows, "What?"

"Why don't we just skip the Opera and go to a bar someplace?"

"Sounds good to me."

Rufus paused to look out the window, and then he shook his head.

"No, we'd better not. I _did_ promise I'd meet with Reeve to discuss those documents he sent me… maybe after the Opera, Reno?"

"Sure, I'll need a good drink after sittin' through one of those things."

The golden haired man checked his watch, "We'd better get going if we don't want to be late…"

As they got into the elevator, Reno had a sudden thought.

"Rufus, Reeve's gonna be there right? So, I'm not goin' to be the only guy there… well, the only guy there besides you?"

"Reeve won't be staying for the performance. And I didn't want to have to sit through an Opera alone."

"So why'd ya pick me?"

"I told you I wanted to be your friend…"

Reno scuffed his shoes, embarrassed. He noticed that Rufus as also slightly red in the face. However, he was happy because he was right, and Rude was wrong. It seemed that Rufus Shinra did only want a friend.

* * *

The Upper Junon Theatre and Opera House was one of those buildings that can only be described as an eyesore. Junon was a city of cold metal, a military outpost built by Shinra Incorporated during the Wutaian War. Everything was designed so as to have defensive capabilities, and the Opera House was no different. 

Situated on the city's fourth tier, just below what is now the WRO headquarters, it was a rather squat, ugly building constructed entirely out of dirty black steel. It had a large dome made of a more golden metal, and had no windows to speak of. Surrounding the dome were bright floodlights, which traced paths of light through the smog filled sky of the city. Most bizarrely of all was the single gun turret placed before the dome, just above the main entrance.

Reno and Rufus joined the thronging mass of people who were slowly making their way towards the Opera House's entrance. Reno was looking around nervously, hoping that no one would notice him in the company of the world's most despised man. Rufus, however, was staring coldly straight ahead with a determined look upon his face.

Then the murmuring began. Softly at first, then it built up slowly to a dull roar as everyone began talking at once.

"Look, can you believe it…?"

"That son of a bitch."

"What's _he_ doing here?"

"God, the nerve of the man!"

Reno growled, "How can you put up with this shit?"

"I just try to ignore it." In spite of what the man in white said, Reno could tell that he was already at breaking point.

"I've just… got to be strong Reno." Rufus smiled grimly, "I remember a time when I could do that with ease… it wasn't all that long ago…"

"Yeah, guess so."

Rufus stopped and turned to face the Turk, "This is why I didn't want to be alone tonight Reno. I need your strength, I need you to be yourself."

"Uh, why?"

"I can't really explain. Its just that we're experiencing the same feelings nowadays, so I think if we're together…"

"I don't get it, man."

"That doesn't surprise me."

Rufus walked through the door, beckoning Reno to follow, which he did, trying vainly not to snap under the baleful looks that were being directed his way. _How can the man stand goin' into society when he knows that this is what he's gotta put up with? He's stronger than he thinks he is_, Reno thought to himself.

Rufus headed over to a small booth and said something to the man standing behind it. The man gave him a sneer then handed the President what Reno assumed to be tickets. Rufus motioned Reno over to him yet again.

"My box is number three. Go up the stairs to the third floor and take the second left. I'll meet you there after I talk with Reeve."

Rufus handed the redhead a ticket then strode off into a crowd that parted, rippling with voices, before him.

Reno climbed up the aforementioned stairs, whistling tunelessly to himself. On his floor he bumped into a pretty little blonde girl selling programs. He bought one more out of a want to talk to her than any interest in the show. He was on the verge of asking her out when a surly looking teenage guy came and put his arm around her protectively. Deciding to not bother with her, Reno backed off. He could get another chick later that night.

Reno had been sitting in the box waiting for Rufus for ten minutes when he finally began to read the program out of boredom.

"_The King of Youth is a modern Opera based around a famous Wutaian folk tale. King Zhou Ke, the King of Youth, holds a contest in his palace claiming that he will hand over his entire kingdom to anyone who can defeat his youthful champions. Young men and women flock to his court in order to participate in his contest but all are defeated. Then enter Ying Tai, the aged and decrepit King of Ox, and his beautiful daughter Ying Ying."_

Reno rolled his eyes, "Boring…"

"_The King of Ox is scorned by Zhou Ke's youthful court, but with the aid of his daughter, an accomplished Yin-Yang Magician, Ying Tai is able to defeat the Champions and win the contest._

_However, instead of taking Zhou Ke's land, the King of Ox allows him to marry his daughter, with whom he has fallen deeply in love with. Then Ying Tai gives him one piece of advice:_

_The King of Youth is subdued by the King of Ox in every lifetime."_

Reno reread the last line over and over.

_What is it about that saying?_ He thought.

Just then the door opened admitting a disgruntled Rufus, "First I give him the funding he needed to create his Organization, then I help outfit his forces and _now_ he expects me to pay for damages that those DeepGround fucks committed, purely because they were once a part of Shinra..."

Reno looked up from the program, "Somethin' wrong?"

"Nothing I can't handle."

"Okay man, whatever you say."

Rufus went over to a closet in the corner of the box and came back holding two pairs of Opera glasses.

He handed Reno a pair, "I'll tell you now that this is going to be mind-numbingly boring. The music is timed incredibly slow, and makes heavy use of the string section. The soprano's main aria is pitched too high and there are only two leitmotifs, which the composer uses ad nauseum."

"What the fuck are you talkin' 'bout, Rufus?"

"The Opera."

"Sounds like ya know a whole lot about Opera. I thought ya said you didn't like the damn things."

"Opera was all my old man used to talk about. Every conversation we ever had was either about Opera or his Company interests." Rufus gave a slight chuckle, "Well, every conversation in which he wasn't chewing me out over something…"

"You two didn't get on well, huh?"

"No shit Sherlock."

Reno quickly jumped on an opportunity to get to know his boss on a more personal level, "So how come?"

"I didn't agree with his method of government and he was afraid of me."

"Afraid of you?"

"Yeah, something about me being a cruel, heartless bastard."

Reno shot the golden haired man a grin, "Guess he didn't know you too well then, if that's what he thought."

"Why do you say that?"

"You're not _really_ a cruel heartless bastard, right?"

"I'm not afraid to admit what I am."

Reno shook his head, "What I mean is that you just act that way to throw everyone off. It's kinda like a disguise, y'know?"

"How do you know that my 'nice-guy' Rufus isn't the act?"

"I don't…"

"Well, neither do I." Rufus clapped his hands together, "This conversation's too dark for an informal evening. Let's change the topic."

Reno sat looking at the blond for a few moments before he continued, "Y'know, I'm sure you're a nice guy Rufus. You've atoned for your past sins."

"How philosophical. I didn't know you were a thinker Reno."

"Ha, ha, very funny." Reno said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

"I wasn't joking. I had no idea you thought about anything but drink and women." Even though Rufus had said he didn't want to continue the conversation, Reno could tell that he was just as interested in _his_ private life as the Turk was in the President's.

"I didn't once, to be honest. But now I do. After we took Kadaj's gang out I started thinkin', "What place do I have in a world where there's no Shinra Company?" and that got me started on heaps of other topics. I thought about my past, the company's past, _your_ past…"

"You think about me?"

"Yeah… kinda."

Rufus sat down next to him, "I've thought about exactly the same kind of things, and I guess that's what lead me into my current funk. I even thought about _you_ sometimes, Reno. I envied you for your carefree life. It's so depressing not being able to let loose occasionally."

"Explain."

"I'm the President of a Company that's no longer relevant in the world, a Company that is to blame for unleashing the greatest evils that this planet has ever experienced. Not to mention that all efforts on my behalf to fix my past mistakes are ignored by the public. I was once revered, people used to fear my very name. Now, I have nothing. People can't even mention me without heavy scorn. Under this kind of pressure, even the strongest men would fold."

Reno shook his head, "You envy my life? I'm goin' through the same shit as you."

"I… know…"

"Hey, listen Rufus! You gotta snap out of this, you gotta stop thinkin' like that! With just a little bit of effort, we'll be able to return Shinra to its former glory!"

Rufus' eyes flashed with icy anger, "I am not weak Reno."

Reno was taken aback, "I never said you were!"

"But you implied it. Don't think that I don't know what you believe me to be. You think I'm lonely and that my loneliness makes me weak. You're wrong, I'm..."

"You're the one who's got it wrong Rufus. Just tonight you said you needed me here to help you be strong."

"I never said that."

"But you implied it."

"Touché."

"A wise man once told me that there is good in all evil, even if it is just a small speck. You just gotta nurture it. There's strength in weakness too, if you follow that logic."

Rufus suddenly started laughing.

"What? What is it?"

"I can't believe I got a lecture from Reno."

"Fuck you Rufus."

"Listen, I'm glad you're here."

Rufus stared intently into Reno's eyes, and Reno returned the stare just as intently. They both began to lose each other in their eyes, Reno in icy blue, Rufus in moist aqua. The house lights began to dim.

Reno broke away from his new friend's eyes, his cheeks burning hotly, "Uh, it's starting…"

Rufus nodded, "Yes, it _is_ starting…"

* * *

The young soprano crossed the stage to stand next to the equally youthful tenor. She reached out her hands towards him; he clasped them eagerly. She turned to look out into the audience; he turned to stare adoringly into her eyes. She began to sing, 

"O most fair king, why are you so blind to your

Guiding light? Why do you fear to follow it to

The gates of salvation?"

"My king, look up and see the stars!

Know the truth!

Feel the burning flames of love!"

The tenor stepped away from her, walking to the other side of the stage. He too began to sing,

"Why is it so hard for me to give myself

To you, beloved Ying Ying?

I shall weep for you eternally."

Reno yawned and pinched himself in an attempt to stay awake. He didn't see why he should bother resisting sleep, since Rufus had already dozed off beside him. Looking at the man in white sleeping peacefully beside him only made the redheaded Turk want to sleep even more.

The tenor continued,

"I am alone in this world. I am all alone."

"But you have me, O Lord of Youth, and

Together we shall become one."

A pause; the music swells.

"Ying Ying, I am yours always!"

Silence, then a running scale.

"King Zhou Ke, I love you too."

The two on the stage ran to each other and ended in a passionate embrace as the music climaxed and the curtain began to fall. The house lights turned on as the audience stood to applaud the cast of the Opera, who were filing onto the apron of the stage. The cheering was loud enough to wake Rufus up.

"Is it finished yet?"

"Yep."

Rufus yawned and stretched, "Thank the Gods."

Reno got up and massaged the kinks out of his legs.

"Well, I had fun tonight, but I think its time to call it a night."

Rufus looked down at his shoes, frowning, "I thought we agreed we'd go out and have a drink…"

"Uhh, sorry I forgot."

"Well, you remember now. Let's get going."

"I forgot to tell you earlier, but, uhh, I got a date."

"Reno, you're a terrible liar."

Reno gulped.

"Go on, I don't care! I'll see you tomorrow."

"Nah, I'll go out drinkin' with you Rufus. You're kinda growin' on me."

Rufus' face lit up, "Thank you Reno, that's what I needed."

Reno gave his Boss a goofy grin, "Yeah, well it's true."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Shoot."

"What is it about me that frightens you so much Reno?"

"You don't frighten me…"

"Yeah I do."

Reno started to get angry, "Do you want me to come or not?"

"I dunno… maybe you should just leave Reno."

Reno snapped, "Make. Up. Your. Fuckin'. Mind!"

"I can't, that's part of the problem…"

"Rude was right, you are jus' tryin' to manipulate me."

"I'm not, I _really_ want you to be my friend. I know that sounds strange to you, but it's the truth."

Reno took a step back, "The truth, huh?"

"Yeah…"

Reno started laughing, "You and the truth don't really mix Rufus."

Rufus laughed ruefully, "That's not my fault. Everyone just expects the worst from me, even you. But I'll show them they're wrong… I just need to find my strength again."

"Come on, you're the strongest guy I know."

Rufus smiled, "The same goes with you."

What the fuck? I'm not strong… 

"Come on Reno, I know a good bar."

The two men walked out of the box, out of the Opera House and into the night.

The soprano took off her makeup; the tenor removed his mask.

All was as it should be in the land of the frigid metal.

* * *

OKEY-DOKEY, Chapter Four is called 'A Deceased Deity' and should be coming up real soon. I've had a lot of trouble finding time to write, so lets be patient! 

Oh yeah, and please review 'cause I could do with any criticisms etc.


	4. A Deceased Deity

**Yay! Wooo! Chapter Four!**

**This one was a little harder to write, so I'm kinda pleased I actually got this far!**

**Read and enjoy, TE**

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Chapter IV: A Deceased Deity

That night at the Opera, Rufus told me that I was the strongest person he knew. That got me thinking, what exactly is strength? I'm not talking about physical strength, nor am I talking about mental endurance. This kind of strength comes straight from the very depths of the heart, the kind of strength that gives you the ability to survive in a world totally absorbed in its own darkness.

What exactly gives people this particular type of strength? Is it something that we're born with, like an inherent defence mechanism, or is it something that we all have to earn through experience? You know, people seem to acquire it in some pretty odd ways, such as near-death experiences, traumatic events or loss. Others receive their strength from loved ones like their friends or family.

Thinking about it, I know I get my strength from the other Turks. If it wasn't for those guys, the disgust I feel just from doing my job would have turned me into a quivering wreck a long time ago. Tseng, Rude and even Elena help to pull me through the bad times just by being there with me.

God, ain't the power of love inspirin'?

And that's what Rufus wanted to create with me, the same kinda feeling. He wanted to draw on my inner strength in just the same way as I draw on the inner strength of my mates. And, I suppose being the greedy bastard I am, I wanted to use him for the exact same purpose.

I guess Rufus' original strength came from all his pent up hatred. He became strong so he could defy the world and thus control it, he allowed himself to be swallowed up by darkness- the same type of shadow that pervades the world. But his strength was a weaker kind of strength than mine, that's why he lost it. It consumed him and took away his humanity. At the Opera, Rufus was just playing at being strong, which is why he freaked out at me when I hinted towards his weakness. I could see right through the man's little charade.

Yeah, the man was hollow, his strength had been sucked out of him. By what? I haven't got a fuckin' clue… all I know is that it has to be real strong if it has the power to totally decimate a guy emotionally yet still allow him to maintain a semblance of normality. If you ask me, there was a hell of a lot more to Rufus' depression than just loneliness as I had earlier suspected. Sure, it was a factor but it wasn't the _greatest_ factor.

Maybe that's what frightened me, maybe that's what made me wanna get as far away from him when the Opera had finished.

I know, I know. I told Rufus that he didn't frighten me, and he didn't on one level. After just one night with the guy I felt like we were bosom buddies, like we were the greatest friends on the planet! No, what was frightening me wasn't Rufus himself, but what was obviously stealing his humanity. Since I was depressed at the time, I was afraid that whatever was consuming him would move onto me.

In the end, I have to laugh 'cause Rufus was what I really should've been scared of all along…

* * *

The streets of the fourth tier of Junon were dark and deserted, the only source of light being that of the moon and a few harsh neon signs hanging above empty shopfronts. The neon of the lights was sputtering vainly, trying to lift the oppressive gloom that was so characteristic of the fort city.

Rufus and Reno walked slowly down the desolate road, the Turk with a lit cigarette casually dangling out of his mouth, the President scanning the signs trying to find the exact bar he believed that Reno would like. After about fifteen minutes of fruitless searching, Rufus let out an exclamation of relieved joy.

"I've found it."

Reno flicked his cigarette to the ground and stepped on it, "Cool. So, what're we waitin' for, man?"

Rufus shrugged and gestured at one of the doors. Reno flashed the blond a grin then sauntered over to the door with his hands in his pockets and walked in, his employer following directly behind. The Turk found himself basking in the warm light of the non-mako powered lighting, which was illuminating the bar.

Taking a look around, Reno let out a whistle of surprise. The bar was like no other he had ever been in. First of all, it was clean and well lit, secondly it was very quiet, the only sound being a crackling coming from a warm fire situated in the north wall and a slight murmur from the few patrons sitting around the place. The bar was tastefully furnished in rich reds and golds, which gave the place an air of regal splendour. Reno could tell that this place was very exclusive.

"Wow man, even the bars ya go to are fuckin' ritzy."

Rufus shrugged, "I come here whenever I need to unwind. It was my second home when I was living here in Junon. It's private, members-only, so you don't get much of the riff-raff from the streets."

"Riff-raff like me, huh?"

"_Exactly_ like you," Rufus stated cheekily, "but the staff won't know that, since you're wearing that 'oh-so-cute' suit of yours."

Seized by a childish urge, Reno stuck his tongue out at the other man. Rufus raised his eyebrows inquiringly, then allowed himself to smile. Reno also broke out into a grin and he went over and put his arm around his boss's shoulders.

"See Rufus? You _can_ relax and let yourself go some of the time."

"I suppose so…" Rufus stepped forward, shrugging the other man off, "it must be your influence over me. You make me feel…"

Reno cocked his head to the side, "Make you feel what, man?"

Rufus turned to face the redhead and smiled again, this time with a smile filled with a strange kind of melancholy, "You make me feel… right…"

_Uh-huh… and that means?_ Reno thought while he punched Rufus affectionately on the shoulder. _It's almost like I'm out with Rude. Almost, but not quite._

Just then a young man dressed in the characteristic red and gold of the bar walked over to the two men. Rufus turned to face him, and as soon as the young man recognized the President of Shinra, his false smile was replaced by the sneer which Reno had gotten used to people assume around his friend.

"May I see your member's card sir?" the youth slurred sarcastically.

The white clothed man's eyes went sub-zero, "You know who I am. I'll take my usual table and bring my friend and I two Scotches with ice, _if_ you would be so kind."

"I'm afraid your table is occupied. I can sit you over there." He pointed vaguely towards the corner furthest away from the bar and fireplace.

Reno, deciding he'd had enough of the kid's attitude, grabbed him by the collar of his red shirt and lifted him easily off the ground, "Show some respect you greasy little shit! This is Rufus Shinra you're talkin' to! One wrong move and I'll-"

"Reno! Stop!" Rufus drastically changed from cold to concerned.

Reno turned away from the man who was gibbering in fear to look his employer in the eye. He gave him a smirk.

"What d'ya want me to do to this motherfucker?"

"RENO!"

"Yeah Boss?"

"Put the poor man down!"

Reno's eyebrows shot up in confusion, "But Rufus…"

"Now! I don't need this kind of attention!"

Reno threw the boy to the ground, shooting him a look of disgust. Rufus walked over and squatted next to him and handed him a small stack of gil and what Reno believed to be a Potion.

"I'm sorry, you must forgive him. He's a little rash sometimes; red hair and all that. Any table that you can procure would be fine. Once again, I apologize." Rufus' eyes were once again ice. Reno wasn't sure whether that ice was directed at him or the apology that the President had been forced into giving.

The young man got shakily to his feet, then pointed at a table by the fireplace which was free. Rufus nodded then strode over towards it, beckoning for the Turk to follow him. Reno scuffed his shoes, gave the man an apologetic nod then crossed the room to sit opposite his white-clad friend.

Rufus' eyes were beyond even ice, they were livid with arctic rage. The man was no longer smiling.

"What the fuck did you think you were doing Reno?" he snarled, "do you have any idea how damaging that kind of behaviour is to my all but non-existent reputation? I _don't_ need you to take care of me like that, I'm _not_ weak! Explain yourself, and make sure you have a good excuse for that juvenile display of machismo."

The Turk stared at the tabletop, unable to look Rufus in the face. He shrugged embarrassedly, "I'm just sick of people bringin' you down. I just kinda lost control… I'm sorry, alright?"

"Reno, you don't actually believe people are going to start respecting me if I get thugs to beat them up, do you?"

"Well… it worked in the past."

Rufus sighed, "Yes it did. But we're no longer in the past Reno. This is now, and my usual methods do not seem to work anymore."

"Doncha wish we _were_ back in the good ol' days, Rufus?"

The blond cocked his head to the side, " I don't know…"

"I know I do," Reno said, looking up, "things were a whole lot simpler then. The world made sense, and I didn't need to try so fuckin' hard to be… y'know… strong and shit. Don't ya kinda miss that man?"

"I'm not weak."

"I know man…"

Rufus sighed again, "But I wasn't strong either. Not like you were. No, the word you're looking for is cruel. Cruelty always worked for me."

It was at this point that another young man, who up until that point had been hiding behind the bar, walked tentatively over to where the two men were sitting and handed what appeared to be a menu to Rufus. _Wow, this place _is_ pretty fuckin' fancy. I can see why Rufus likes the joint_, Reno thought as the President selected drinks for the two of them.

"You still haven't given me a good excuse for attacking that young man Reno…" Rufus said as their waiter returned carrying two glasses filled with ice and a bottle of very pricy scotch.

"It's jus' that… well y'know, you deserve respect man."

"Why? Because they used to respect me?" Rufus chuckled bitterly then sipped at his drink, "Truth be told, I don't exactly deserve to be respected, do I?"

"Fuck man, what is it about ya that makes you so damn indecisive?"

"What do you mean?"

Reno gulped down his scotch, "You're always changing character. I mean you never stay in the same mood. Tonight, you were all ready to have fun and relax, and then you go all weird on me. Now you're pissed coz I tried to help ya."

"Maybe it's because I'm only playing at having emotions." By this time Rufus' eyes had lost all their ice, and had become empty, almost like they were dead, "I feel hollow inside Reno. That's what's depressing me, the fact that I'm missing something, missing an integral part of me. It's like I'm not human, like I've lost my soul."

"That sounds fuckin' horrible, man."

"I've racked my brain over the past few months trying to find out what it is exactly that I'm missing. But, much to my annoyance, I've come up with nothing…" Rufus flicked a piece of his long golden fringe out of his eyes, "do you have any ideas Reno?"

_Why me?_ Reno thought as he poured himself another glass of the scotch, _I don't even get what he's talkin' about…_

"I just need you…" Rufus gulped, "I just need you to think about why you haven't lost your humanity. What do you have that I don't have?"

"I don't get ya, Rufus.

"You told me tonight that you're depressed, that you feel about things the same way I feel. However, you aren't dead on the inside…"

"Rufus, you're scarin' me."

"For fuck's sake man! Just fuckin' think!" Rufus snapped, his eyes raging like a blizzard.

Reno looked around the bar nervously, once again unable to make eye contact with his boss. Rufus stretched his arms out hungrily over the table towards the redhead, snatching vainly into the air, trying to take from Reno what he lacked.

"Why are you so _fucking_ human!?"

Reno shrugged uncomfortably, "I dunno…"

Rufus laughed bitterly, "I have a theory."

"Oh, _do tell_." Reno said with heavy sarcasm. He was not happy with the direction that the evening was taking. It just wasn't right for two men to be talking about stuff like this. Rufus was seriously freaking his redheaded friend out.

"I think it's because I've never experienced what it's like to love," Rufus stared directly into Reno's eyes, a strange smile playing over his lips, "and what it's like to _be_ loved."

"Y-yeah? Uh, interesting…"

"Tell me, Reno, what is it like to be in love."

I don't really know… 

Fortunately for Reno, his PHS rang. The redhead sighed inwardly.

"'Scuse me sir, I need to answer my phone."

Rufus' eyes were filled with hurt, "Fine. And it's _Rufus_, remember?"

Reno nodded, then got up from his chair. As he walked out of the bar, he could feel the President's eyes on him. Returning to the dismal street, the Turk flipped open his PHS and simultaneously put a cigarette into his mouth.

"Hey Rude."

"How did you know it was me?"

"Two reasons. The first bein' I know you, the second bein' that your name appeared on the screen of my PHS. So, wassup man?"

"I came by your hotel room, y'know to check up on you and see whether you wanted to go out." He grunted, "and you weren't there. You at a bar?"

"Uh, sorta."

"Oh man, you didn't go to the Opera did you Reno?"

"Yeah, I did. Ya wanna make somethin' of it?"

"No, I suppose not. The Opera must've finished by now, so what exactly are you up to? Have you taken the President home?"

Reno sighed, "Rufus and I are at a bar."

"Doin' what?"

"Drinkin'! What else would we be fuckin' doin'?"

"Well, Tseng did say he wanted you to take Rufus out drinking. I remember you saying that you wouldn't. Why the change of heart?"

"Shaddup man."

"So, how is the President anyway?"

"Up until now, he's been fine." Reno chuckled, "but now he's gone all weird and shit on me. He's talking about some pretty fucked up things, like how he's not human and he's gonna steal my soul."

"You didn't get him drunk, did you?"

"Nah."

The redhead was met by silence at the other end of the line.

"Listen Rude, the Pres' is an okay guy. It's jus' that he sometimes… I dunno, he just acts a little weird. He is pretty screwed up, y'know."

Rude grunted noncommittally.

"Hey man, do you think I'm human?"

"Of course you are. What a stupid question."

"But why?"

"I don't really know."

"Rufus thinks it's because I love and am loved. Shit like that."

There was silence for a brief moment, before Rude started talking, "Reno, you should get away from him. Right now. I just don't trust the man, I'm sure he's trying to manipulate you."

"We went over that before. You were wrong."

"I doubt that."

"Nah man, he jus' wants ta be my friend."

Or maybe something more…? 

"Be careful Reno." There was real concern in Rude's voice and it made Reno feel uneasy for some reason.

"Yeah, later man." And he hung up.

Reno lit his cigarette and took a long drag, letting the smoke coat his lungs and calm him down. Just as he was about to turn around he felt a hand on his shoulder. Jumping into the air in surprise with a yelp, Reno spun around to find himself face to face with Rufus, who was smiling that strange smile of his.

"You're human Reno, purely because you _are_ human. You have friends, and they make you strong." Rufus put his arm around Reno's shoulder, "it was all so obvious, I can't believe I never realized it. Love makes you human."

Reno gave the blond a grin, "Back to normal I see."

"Together we shall become complete Reno, and neither of us will need to feel inadequate any longer. Friendship. That is what you will give me and from it I shall become stronger than ever before." Rufus laughed pulling the Turk tighter against him, "Yin and yang, my friend. Yin and yang."

There was something about the way that Rufus' body felt to the Turk that made him feel… feel good. When the blond had touched him, a spark had passed from his hand, filling Reno's mind with strange thoughts. Thoughts that Reno had only ever had about women.

_It doesn't make sense… you're a guy._

Reno shrugged the blond off uncomfortably, "This kinda talk makes me feel edgy man. Let's just go back to the bar and get hammered, alright?"

"No, I wish to go back to my apartment. Escort me if you would be so kind, my handsome troubadour."

He thinks I'm handsome? 

Reno laughed, 'Okay, but not so formal."

"Fine then. Take me home Reno."

* * *

On the elevator ride up to the Presidential apartment Reno gave Rufus a good looking over, trying to gauge whether the man felt the same way as he did. His eyes weren't icy for one, and that was a good sign. The man was also standing taller, his pose filled with confidence and strength. Confidence and strength which Reno had given him.

_I never really noticed how handsome the guy is_, he thought, before quickly looking away. _Why am I thinkin' like that? Maybe I've had too much to drink._ Reno frowned and looked at his shoes. _God damn it, what is wrong with me? Why am I feeling so…? _He sighed,_ I dunno how I feel anymore_.

It had all changed suddenly, when Rufus had pulled him close Reno had felt so right, he had felt as if he was finally where he was supposed to be. Like he had come home after a long time spent away, as if a part of him that had been missing had finally been returned. As if he was falling in love.

Missing? Is this how Rufus feels as well? 

"Is something wrong Reno?"

Reno jumped, "Uh, nothin' man."

"Why are you shaking? Are you _sure_ you're alright?" Rufus' voice was filled with concern; "I have a Sense materia if you want me to check you out."

Reno laughed nervously, "I don't need you to check me out. Not now, not ever."

"Reno! What do you mean?"

God Rufus, what are you doing to me? 

"Reno! Hey, you don't look so good."

I wanna know what it's like to love, and be loved… 

The blond stepped in front of the Turk and placed his hands on his shoulders, looking into the redhead's eyes.

"I need you to snap out of it."

_I need you too Rufus._

"Rufus, I-" Reno choked.

"Reno!" Rufus shook his friend slightly, "what is _wrong_? I'm worried."

"Rufus, you said you wanted to be complete… you said you wanted yin and yang right? Well, I'm here for you."

"Thank you Reno."

"I think I've had too much to drink."

"What? Two glasses of scotch."

_Love and be loved_.

Reno shrugged, "It's late, maybe I'm just tired."

"Why won't you tell me what the matter is?" Rufus sighed, "You can trust me Reno. I'm your friend now, remember."

"A man once told me all about yin and yang. He said that opposites need to draw together in order to make a whole. That's what you want us to do."

Rufus nodded, "Something like that."

"Why did you have to touch me like you did before?"

Rufus took a step back, banging into the door of the elevator, "I don't understand."

"Rufus, you're tryin' to use me."

"I don't know what you mean."

"Yeah you do. All this shit about you needin' strength, and you not bein' human. It's all just a ploy so that you can get at me." Reno groaned, "I'm so confused. This evening has gone in so many directions that I don't know where I am anymore."

Rufus hummed a little to himself, then nodded. His eyes became determined. _Now is the time to take action_, he thought.

"Reno… you forgive me?"

"Hm, you know I do."

"Then what are you waiting for?"

"Nothin'."

And Reno stepped forward into Rufus' waiting arms and they allowed themselves to meld, each taking from the other what they needed.

Reno kissed Rufus, softly at first, but then with increasing passion. He didn't know why he did it; all he needed to know was that he was compelled to. Holding Rufus tightly in his arms, the Turk knew that this was what he had been searching for, and he knew that he was never going to let Rufus go.

It didn't matter that they were both men, Reno realised, because love goes beyond mere gender. Love is strength, and since the two men both needed each other, fate threw them together. They were so alike; depressed and weak. Reno had known at least subconsciously that Rufus had been manipulating him, but he hadn't cared. He needed the man.

And besides, Reno needed Redemption just as much as Rufus did.

* * *

AWWWW!

Next Chapter: Winds of Heaven


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